Scituate Mariner May 7, 2008

Lynda Steverman was warned that this years senior class at Scituate High School could get rowdy. They might not be the type to sit still through an hour-long assembly, she was told.

But when Steverman, her daughters Kristen and Anna and nephew Eric Steverman a Scituate hockey coach went to the school May 1 to present Choices, the story of her son PJs 1995 disappearance and death, the seniors sat with rapt attention.

Afterwards, Lynda attributed the students attentiveness to the fact that this Scituate class has been through a tragedy of its own. Earlier this year, Timothy Mahoney, a 16-year-old Scituate student was killed in a car accident. Christopher Barrow, an 18-year-old Scituate High School student, was badly injured in the crash.

She referenced this years tragic events before answering questions about her own experiences.

You guys have had a terrible year so far, she told the group of students, which included Mahoneys brother Patrick. I want to tell you that you have our familys deepest sympathy.

PJ Steverman left a late-night house party at New England College in Henniker, N.H., shortly before Thanksgiving in 1995 and decided to walk back to his dorm room rather than get a ride from friends. He was soon reported missing by Henniker and Scituate police officials.

Over the next five months, the Steverman family searched for their son and brother. In April 1996, PJs body was found not far from the site of that house party he left that night in November.

The Steverman family edited news footage of the search and PJs childhood photos into the Choices video, which shows how what seem like small decisions, such as whether to walk home from a party, for example, can lead to disastrous circumstances.

Since 2006, Lynda has presented the video to students about to graduate from South Shore high schools. Her hope is that by watching the video, the students who are about to go off to college themselves and who are becoming legal adults can learn to think about the consequences of their actions. She and her family have presented the film at close to 10 different high schools, including Weymouth, Cohasset, Hanover, and Norwell.

But in recent years, Lynda has cut back on the presentations so that she could make the best possible presentation in Scituate, where her son and two daughters grew up.

After the video screening, Anna Steverman asked the students how it made them feel. After a short silence, someone from the back of the auditorium answered scared.

Then Lynda asked a more pointed question: Will everyone think twice (when they make choices)?

These sad things that happen, they last forever, she said. It doesnt go away.

Scituate Mariner November 14, 2007

Choices.

The word seems so simple, but beneath it lives a very common truth — everything in life comes down to the choices we make and the consequences that come along with them.

Lynda Steverman and her family, husband Paul and daughters Kristen and Anna, know this all too well, perhaps better than any family should. When PJ Steverman left a late-night house party at New England College in the off-the-beaten path town of Henniker, N.H., shortly before Thanksgiving in 1995, he made the choice to walk back to his dorm room rather than get a ride from friends. And while it was a walk he had likely made many times before, there was no telling how his decision to do so that night would affect the lives of those around him.

PJ was soon reported missing by Henniker and Scituate police officials. What transpired was a turbulent five months for the Steverman family, complete with newscasts and television appearances, repeated search efforts and many sleepless nights waiting for their son and brother to come home.

Months went by until April 1996, when the family received the news they had feared from the very beginning. PJ’s body was found not far from the site of that house party he left that night in November. The experience of grappling with her son’s disappearance, Lynda said, changed her and her family forever.

“It really changed our lives,” Lynda said. “Through those five months, we came into contact with so many people we never met who are now very close friends of ours.”

Many of those “very close friends” tirelessly gave their time and energy to the Stevermans when the family needed it most, gathering for prayer at St. Mary’s Parish on Front Street or assisting in the search for PJ themselves.

“We had people in New Hampshire ask us at one point ‘Is there anyone left in Scituate?’” Paul Steverman said. “There were that many people up there (in Henniker) at one point.”

When PJ was found and the search had ended, the family decided to turn the tables. They wanted to give back to the Scituate community that had selflessly supported them through their struggles, while at the same time leaving behind something PJ would have wanted.

That giving back is why the Steverman family has been chosen as the 2007 Scituate Citizen of the Year by a committee consisting of Scituate Mariner editor Bill Fonda, Scituate Historical Society president Dave Ball and Gigi Mirarchi of state Rep. Frank Hynes’ office. The family will be honored at a dinner Thursday, Nov. 8, from 6:30 to 10 p.m. at the Barker Tavern.

“We’re grateful,” Lynda said of being honored. “There are times when we wonder if people acknowledge what we’re doing, and this proves that they do. It’s nice. It gives us a boost.”

In 1997, the family culled together leftover funds initially raised to assist in the family’s search for PJ to build a hockey rink in his memory. Located behind Scituate High School, the rink has become a staple for children and burgeoning hockey players around town over the past 10 years. But more importantly, it stands as a tribute to the memory to PJ, who his family said ate, slept and breathed hockey ever since he was a young child.

“His whole thing was hockey,” Paul said of his son. “Everything was hockey. He really shined.”

In the years since, the family has been a benefactor to many town groups and organizations, primarily the Scituate Recreation Department. Lynda said the family has raised more than $200,000 for the recreation department through its annual PJ Steverman Golf Classic at Widow’s Walk Golf Course.

But for Lynda, raising money wasn’t enough. The family had a message to give to the young people of Scituate, a cautionary story that, while painful to tell, they knew could save lives.

“For years, we’ve been able to raise money and write checks for different causes, but for me it wasn’t enough,” Lynda said.

‘We wanted to do something to address the issue of underage drinking and alcohol, but we had trouble finding direction,” PJ’s older sister Kristen Steverman-Norton said.

The family wrestled with different ways of telling their story when an idea struck Lynda almost instantaneously. The family would make and produce a video for seniors at Scituate High School and across the South Shore.

“We had done a lot of thinking,” Lynda said. “We had been to funerals, and we saw people following down the wrong road. Then one day I just had an ‘Aha!’ moment. It all just made sense.”

Following a meeting with Scituate Community of Concern in February 2006, the family began work on “Choices,” a 17-minute short film candidly detailing the family’s struggles to find their son. Consisting of media footage and old family photographs, it’s a film that cuts to the bone, serving as a chilling reminder that one moment, one choice, can forever change the world for an entire family.

“People always have that choice,” Lynda said. “But too often, people make the wrong choice. The video really is just about thinking ‘What will happen to me? What will happen to my friends and family?’”

Perhaps the most startling moments of “Choices” come in the numerous photos of PJ as a child. There are pictures of him playing hockey, hanging out with friends and family, prom pictures. It’s startling because in watching the video, the viewer finds that PJ Steverman, as the video says from the start, was just an ordinary kid.

But since its first screening in June 2006, this tale of an ordinary kid from Scituate has been seen by nearly 1,700 seniors throughout the South Shore, reminding them of the need to make sound decisions for themselves and their families going forward beyond high school.

“By the end of it all, I was ready to jump off a cliff,” Lynda said of showing the video. “I just couldn’t cry any more.”

But Paul Steverman has always described his family as the kind of people who always put the needs of others ahead of their own. So while the experience of reliving and retelling their tragic tale weighs heavy on the Stevermans, it’s a tale they’ll continue to tell for the betterment of others.

“I think it helps us mentally knowing we’re doing something to help,” Anna Steverman said.

“The kids change from year to year, but the message always remains the same,” Lynda added.

Tickets for the Citizen of the Year dinner are $35, and will be available starting next week at the Scituate Mariner office at 165 Enterprise Drive in Marshfield and Front Street Book Shop at 88 Front St.